Where Else Would I Go?

As Paul advised, I have strived to enter into God's Rest. It is so anti-human nature it is difficult, a real life wrestling with God. How can we rest in a life of such chaos, not just outside us but inside us?

People do suffer and as we suffer it becomes harder to find spiritual rest. Every 'do something' in our reasoning kicks into gear, but the day comes when life hands you a circumstance there is just no budging, not with prayer, not with faith, not with steadfastness, some injustice so vile that there is no way to reason God into being in control this time.

There comes a time, where in faith, we come to a conclusion. Alright God, if I'm just a vessel made for the trash heap, if my hope's not to be fulfilled in this, what am I going do? Unbelieve You? No, I will rest in my place, in my darkness and accept my powerlessness, but I will not like it. I will not like that You choose not to manipulate reality in the way I see as just, but I where else do I have to go?

One day as I was sitting on my porch watching the birds, a squirrel did something ridiculously funny, and I found myself smiling. A feeling of joy bubbled up in my heart watching a bird and a squirrel tussle over some seed. I quickly frowned, upset that I could feel such a feeling in the circumstances I found myself, but the joy feeling wouldn't go away.

The Spirit said, "I'm Life. I don't know how to be anything else." You'll just have to put up with Me, like I put up with you".

I don't like life many times. I don't like the injustices, the hurting, the suffering. I think I would do a better job than God if I were in charge-that's my core funky belief, although I have a lifetime of experience in grand life failures to look back on.

I can rest in Him more everyday, and yet He will not allow that rest to become withdrawal from life. We don't check our brains at the door to be a disciple of Jesus. We just have to check perverted reasoning at the door and be made alive by The Spirit of Christ within us.